


Shin Nihon Shitposts

by LordryuTJ



Category: Fatal Fury, King of Fighters, Ryuuko no Ken | Art of Fighting (Video Games), Samurai Spirits | Samurai Shodown (Video Games)
Genre: Awkwardness, Bets & Wagers, Crack, Dark Comedy, Drabble Collection, Halloween Costumes, Humor, Internet, Large Breasts, Multi, Object Insertion, Sex Toys, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 06:01:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 13,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26468374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordryuTJ/pseuds/LordryuTJ
Summary: A collection of little ideas in the King of Fighters universe, that are either too stupid or too short to be worth its own standalone or multi-chapter story.----------Rather than risking the potential of drowning the KoF fanfic archives with a bunch of sub-1000-word goofiness, I decided to make it all under one 'drabble collection' for convenience. Also, while it's mainly based within the KoF universe, I may have chapters involving other SNK franchises (thus, 'Shin Nihon Shitposts') with the occasional crossover into non-SNK territory, but the main thing is KoF stuff.
Kudos: 5





	1. For Convenience Sake

Mai Shiranui never ever thought her face would blush over in a shade of red as deep as the red on her uber-revealing attire.

Not until a preparation for a road trip around Southtown was stopped in its tracks thanks to a rogue skin-toned phallus falling out of the kunoichi's travel bag.

Right in front of two of her long-time friends and tournament partners, too – a blonde and a fellow brunette were left stunned in nearly two different directions.

"Uhh..." King cleared her throat as though to combat the silence of the piercing awkwardness. "So... I'm guessing Andy hasn't been giving you much action recently?"

"Yyyyeah, _let's just leave it at that..._ "  
Mai started to crouch low to swipe up the veiny toy – but Yuri interrupted, flinging herself to the ground to grab it by the 'balls'.

"Holy crap, you're not wrong, King~" Yuri discovered from taking a look on the undercarriage.  
"She's even got his name written on the bottom!"

The next few moments turned into a tug-of-war over the wiggly dildo between Mai and Yuri until the former managed to kick the latter away with a protective force.

"C-careful~!" alerted Mai. "You wouldn't want to tear up a custom mold, would you?!"  
She instantly knew she said too much already.

"'Custom... mold'?" King was as far from Einstein as she could get in her knowledge of sex toys – or lack thereof – so everything outside of the surface of simple dildos and vibrators was out of her reach.

Yuri shook her head as she realized a detail yet to be filled...  
"Waitwaitwaitwait... does he know about this?"

Mai blinked thrice. "No...?"

It only raised another question in Yuri.  
"...soooo do you... _craft_ it while he's..."

"While he's _sleeping?_ No, t-that's..."  
Mai stopped her own stammering before she could feel further foolishness – she was left with nothing to give on this but the whole truth.

"I know a woman who knows her way around modelling, sculpting and printing – she's sifted through penises, vaginas and everything in between for a living!"

Finally tucking the rubbery duplicate of her lover's appendage back into the bag, Mai closed her case.  
"I told you all you need to know – now can we just go and keep this between us?"

King prepped to open her mouth – but it was immediately palmed off by Yuri, who by her following words, seemed unprepared to close things out _just_ yet.

"Could you get her to make me one from Robbie's peen? And, maybe," Yuri then pointed towards King, "a Ryo one for her?"

One could not believe the whiplash felt in Yuri's neck from the slap the blushing King instantly delivered on her skull.


	2. Lollipop

Angel was never big on sweets. More of a cactus type of lady – the non-spiky parts of it, mostly.

Kula, on the other hand, was a loud-and-proud sweet-tooth – mainly because she was _loudly_ tasting the stick-stabbed candy 95% of the time whenever she and her partners weren't on a mission – and that was only part of why Angel found Kula annoying.

In short terms, Angel was always finding a way to mess around with her rivals from the defunct NESTS agency, _especially_ with that 'Ice Doll'.  
Even if it threatened poor Kula's innocence sometimes.

* * *

It didn't take long for Kula and the 'two mommies' to catch up to Angel further down the streets of Southtown – down to a dimly lit alley where Angel was counting on being eventually found with time to spend doing what she needed to.

"Angel, did you take Kula's lollipop?" Diana immediately went into interrogation mode, and her rapier was ready to penetrate if necessary.

Angel unflinchingly retorted, "You sound like I committed a crime against you."

"And you sound like you forgot stealing _is_ a crime." Foxy approached next, letting go of very little from the NESTS agent that nearly _killed_ her in the past.  
"Now, be a nice degenerate and hand over the candy, before it gets nasty."

Angel was again unbudged, even when two rapiers were pointed at her.

"You might be surprised, _señoras_ – you could say, it's already a little nasty."

As she walked out from the corner of the brick-laid alley and let more of the sunlight shine onto her, she gathered three pairs of eyes towards a lower point...

…and at that point, there was a familiarly thin white stick, 5 inches long, prodding out from between Angel's legs – and she stood with a proud blush as she saw the change in expression on her enemies.

While Kula stood silent and slightly confused at what she was seeing, Diana and Foxy looked outright _disturbed..._

"She didn't seriously...?"  
"If she did, how did it..."

"It doesn't matter how I did it, or why," Angel cut off the rapier mommies.  
"All that matters, is the look on your faces. And hey," she then slightly wriggled her hips forward, shaking the lollipop stick sheathed within her at the candy-end slightly, "if she manages to get it out, maybe Kula will be introduced to a new flavor – one I'd like to call ' _La Vagina_ '~!

Devoid of all shame in her system, Angel heartily laughed at the family of rivals before her.

But then, seconds later, she stopped – as she felt a sudden chill emerge near her sensitive regions.

Kula had grabbed the stick, gripping it tightly in her gloved hand.

And as Angel looked back down on the strawberry-blonde girl, she saw a face of fearlessness – and past Kula's shoulders, the 'rapier mommies' shared a grin of impending revenge.

"To pull this on a normal girl," said Diana, "but to pull it on _her_... **good luck.** "

Then Foxy ordered, "Now, Kula – show her what it's like to _really_ feel the powers of the arctic."

"Right..." Kula's hair went from orange to blue in an instant.

Angel gulped with a sudden urge to feel regret.  
Suddenly, she felt like she was about to feel what would happen if hypothermia was an STD...

* * *

"Sooo... uhh, what brings you here?" The local Southtown doctor was puzzled to see their next patient...

Angel laid on the bed against the wall, a towel covered over her _lower regions_ – a towel stained with blood, to note – and a pale complexion gained from the blood loss she accumulated, which was clear from the trail of red leading up to the room.  
When balanced against her superhuman durability, it was only a mildly bothersome pain for her, despite it being likely that she had some parts of her reproductive system _torn out_ from the ice connection.

"Nngh..." The disgruntled Angel groaned. "Look... we both don't like what's happened here; let's just say, I would've rather had two swords shoved up there."

The moral of this story – this very, _very_ family-unfriendly story – was 'never trust your crotch to be central to your bullying tactics'.


	3. Boob Window

It started as a trip to the Pao Pao Cafe for two former 'Hero' teammates.

"A hundred bucks – just tell me if you want it or not."  
"I don't think you _get_ why I hesitate..."

Ash was under the lampshade of Shen Woo's prodding – wagers were a common ribbing tech between the two, and the French 'degen' was often on the wrong end of things. He could still feel the dull pain of a stomachache from that lobster eat-off he took a devastating loss in, a few years back.

As usual, something caught Shen's eye that gave him an idea to throw upon young Crimson – though this time, it threatened to become a bit too personal.

Regardless of the thoughts, Ash inevitably conceded. "...If I say 'yes', will you shut up?"

Shen smirked, lightly budging the former teammate along. "Go nuts, twink."

Sliding off the cushion of his seat, Ash had hesitation in his step as he got up and made a short path left, further down the bar table...

...before taking a seat right besides the blue-haired lady he knew for years as Elisabeth – the subject of Shen's newest 'risky gamble'.

"Erm..." He cleared his throat. "...Betty?"

Elisabeth didn't even return a glance. "Crimson." She felt in the ether that she didn't need to make eye contact with that young man.

On the other hand, Ash's eyes were very much on the noblewoman from the gate – with focus seeming lower than it appeared.

It made him sweat. The nerves around his childhood friend and just what she carried.  
There was quite the convenience in the attire she wore, and it made Ash struggle just that tiny bit harder to get out what he needed to say.

"So, uh..." Especially when it came to the strict bluenette, knew his words were going to mean life or _near_ -death. He wasn't exactly the bastard with purple flames and mirror powers anymore.

His black-nailed fingers awkwardly lingered on the middle of the smooth wooden surface, tapping audibly ( _if lightly so_ ) as he tried to arrange his words

...but then impatience within one's self made way for the decision to jump, and ultimately his arms _smashed_ onto the table in front!

Whatever injuries he could've accumulated were likely to be _less_ painful than what would happen after his next sentence.  
" _Betty, tell me about the boob window!_ "

Suddenly, most of the commotion in the cafe went silent, bodies (mostly necks) turned in the direction of the scene being made, and were _particularly_ puzzled.

The last set of eyes to find their way onto Crimson were Elisabeth's own.  
"...Pardon?"

A drip of sweat fell down the left of Ash's face. "Jacket. Open. Boobs. Explain. _Please._ "

Elisabeth was soon looking down on herself – at her well-endowed self beyond the purple ascot – alternating between that and the scrumpled blushing expression upon Ash's face.

"Hmph."  
Elisabeth's lips curved, surprisingly, into a quaint little smile.  
"You should've asked sooner..."

_**Thwup...  
Creeaak...!** _

Before his fingertips could react in defense through the green embers, Ash suddenly found it harder to breathe through his nose _and_ mouth. He felt the noblewoman's riding crop wrap around the back of his head – not to give him ten lashes on the skull in a 'proper' punishment...

...but to keep his head from pulling away from the constricting pressure that Betty's breasts, of an unholy size, were pressing down on almost _all_ sides.  
" _Mmm?! Mmmmhnnhnnn...!?_ " All his potential dialogue was smothered at this point.

Elisabeth, on the other hand, was able to explain clearly, and she did so as her bosom wrapped itself against Ash's face.  
"It's a little thing called _strategy,_ my dear Ash – not everyone is equipped with eyes pure enough to refrain from _certain glances._ Unfortunately for you, it doesn't seem like you're one of the 'pure' ones..."

By the language of Ash's spazzing body, this was not the type of assault he was expecting to endure – at an inevitable point, his arms gave up on trying to escape and his flames were having trouble coming out, against a 'friend'.

As for the air that was trying to get into his lungs – well, it was more about what was getting squeezed _out_ in this case.

The air was going.  
Going.  
 _Going.  
_ _Aaaaand **gone.**_

Rendered breathless and unconscious within the confines of what would normally be a wet dream's subject, even before the moment of which the crop _snapped in half_ over the back of his head – he was finally released from Betty's chest-clench after that, hitting the floor.

The cafe was even quieter, as stood over with an expression that became calmer. Because unlike everyone else ( _almost, at least_ ), she knew exactly what she intended.

"Well, would you look at that, Mr. Woo?" she spoke up, as she heard Shen's nearly-quiet footsteps behind her. "It looks like I've proven my breasts _can_ be a weapon."

Having no choice but to make good now that he heard Betty call on him, Shen begrudgingly slammed down a stack of hundreds – $500 on Betty's end, as opposed to the comparitively-slight $100 he offered to his now-KO'd partner – for the Blanctorche princess to collect.

" _Motherfucker got me,_ " muttered the 'Shanghai God of War'.  
It was the risk he took for playing multiple wagers at once.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If Elisabeth was ever a real person, you'd bet your ass I'd pay top-dollar for her to smother me into unconsciousness like that.
> 
> Yes, I'm shameless to admit that – I'm the guy who has openly admitted to MIGNON BEART being one of my KoF waifus, of course I'm shameless.


	4. Oppai

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline?: Sort of based within KoF XI, but not explicitly suggested... this is based on a 'special intro' has against certain 'well-endowed' ladies on the roster.

The stage was set yet again for the _King of Fighters_ tournament, and the Psycho Soldier Team had themselves a bit of 'new blood' – in the delicate, petite and passionate form of Momoko.

It was a lucky strike of opportunity that she was picked as the first in the team-order, as the prelims began.

With a flip and a handspring, let the wind whip away her bunny-ear sweater as she made what she considered a 'dazzling' entrance  
"Here comes Momoko~!"

"Oh wow... aren't you a tad lass~"  
There was the first obstacle in Momoko's _KoF_ debut; the Lillien Queen, Bonne Jenet. However, it wasn't the overall presence of the rebellious blonde that took the dancing fighter's attention.

It was a few inches lower than the Englander's eyes – at the comparatively sizable bosom that welcomed Momoko when she least expected it.

From the Psycho Soldier team's point of view, Momoko's teammates were looking on in confusion as she stood almost frozen.

"Uhhh... is she okay?" asked Kensou.  
"She's probably just got stage-fright," Athena answered. "She'll be fine... I hope?"

As they spoke, Momoko was trying to shake off the nerves with the peppy motion in her hips

But deep inside she knew, the 'size difference' between her and Jenet made her feel too 'kid-like', the type of feeling she didn't want in a place like this.  
She wished she had the kind of **strawberry creams** her opponent had.

* * *

So the first match wasn't exactly what lil' Momo wanted. Thankfully she had her friends to help clear out the opposition...

But then the Agent Team came into play.  
And it was arguably tougher to swallow.

"Vanessa, could you... _not_ be doing this, _right now?_ "  
Blue Mary was completely unable to tame her redheaded partner, whose motherly senses attracted her to Momoko's small presence.

"Awww, but look at her, Mary~! She almost reminds me of _my_ kid..."  
The boxing babe was busy petting Momoko's hair, which was kept from absolute messiness by the pink headband.

"I-I'm no k-kid~!"  
Momoko was almost struggling with words – her face was going embarrassingly red, and her eyes wanted to do more of the talking for her, and they were faced with _two_ obstacles this time.

It was already enough when Vanessa's chest was within inches from pushing in on Momoko's face – but Mary had a pair of her own that was _barely_ kept within her tube-top.

There were four **meatbuns** wiggling almost freely within her sight, and Momoko's appetite grew despite her better judgement.

Her partners were again left out of the situation, merely witnesses to Momoko's misadventures.

"Uhhh, Athena...?" Kensou was a little more nervous this time.  
Athena answered back, nodding. "I know what I'm seeing... Honestly, I feel for her."

"I'm with you, _amigos_..."  
Then there was the luchador Ramon, the one man in the Agents team with his own reasons to feel left out.  
"Sometimes I wish Vanessa gave _me_ attention like she does for that kid..."

* * *

Okay... the Agents Team was a tougher challenge, but Momoko and her friends managed to pull through (even if cleanup was mostly relied upon leader Athena).

Hopefully, this time, she was dealt a less... _bouncy_ hand.

" _This_ girl is a 'Psycho Soldier' now? Hmph... this could be interesting..."  
Disregard – this was perhaps _the bounciest_ it had gotten, as Elisabeth Blanctorche entered the fray as leader of her own team, with an attire that probably left the least to imagination when it came to the 'goods' she carried.

This time, Momoko had _already lost._  
Her eyes were firmly locked on the chest of the enemy – and it struck her so hard that she was now left drooling in mezmerization.  
Looking at big, beautiful French _**pillows~**_

All of a sudden, Momoko was hugging Elisabeth's body the tighest she could, her head half-buried within the noblewoman's milkbags – the dancing wildchild couldn't take it anymore, and she was left to _want._

Elisabeth's face sat in dreadful disapproval, knowing that her first year in the _KoF_ tournament shouldn't have led to this.  
Duo Lon and Benimaru, repping the rest of Elisabeth's team, were looking on in confusion – as though hundreds of question mark filled their brains.  
And as for Kensou and Athena – they were probably the _most_ surprised. Now that they knew just what was on Momoko's mind this whole tournament.

"Athena?"  
"Yes, Kensou?"  
"...Is it bad that I wish I was her right about now?"

And then Kensou was promptly elbowed so hard in the gut by the Psycho Soldier, that he could again taste this afternoon's meatbun meal in his throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second 'Shin Nihon Shitposts' chapter in a row where someone has their face in Elisabeth's tits.  
> Can you tell why I like her yet?


	5. Eggs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is based within the 'SNK Heroines: Tournament of Dignity' continuity.

"Have I ever told you how often breakfast has intrigued me ever since I took you in?"  
"Yes, you have, milady."

Ever since she was brought into the comfort of the mansion, Iroha often spent the morning eating alongside Elisabeth.

The maid had a decent skill at cooking, managing to adjust to the more modern technology of the world she fell into, but her specialty – somehow, of all things – were eggs.

And boy, there was a lot of egg-involved cooking - with some occasional assistance from the noblewoman.  
Scrambled, 'benedict', salad, deviled - and above all else, with a special example on this morning, omelettes.  
To the point where Elisabeth was wondering where Iroha was even _getting_ the eggs.

The answer from the maid?  
"I farmed them."

Elisabeth raised an eyebrow. "Farmed?"

Iroha nodded. "Yes, milady."

"Hmm... strange..." Elisabeth chewed on the bit of omelette in her mouth, easily gulping it down. "I don't seem to ever see you _actually_ farming, inside _or_ outside of the premises."

"It's a private matter," Iroha answered. "It's really the only way."  
She seemed to keep too warm a smile on her face. That more than confirmed that feeling of secrecy in her breakfast efforts.

And then she soon after stood up from her chair, sensing a feeling in the pit of her stomach. "Uh... excuse me... I think I'm going to need the bathroom for a minute."  
The crane maid got up from her seat, an awkward hint to her step as she bowed out respectfully.

Now that it reminded her, Elisabeth couldn't help but think:  
 _Iroha had a tendency to go to the bathroom more often than she usually sees some people go, on a normal day.  
Was that normal for her?_

* * *

"Qyaaaa~" * _ **PLOP!**_ _*_

Iroha was short on breath after doing her 'duty' – and as she had accustomed herself to, she was washing away the germs.  
Washing the germs off of one of several spotty eggs that she had laid in the toilet mere moments before.

It was a sacrifice that had results. Iroha knew the almost parasitic relationship that humans had, thriving on many an animal for its meat, its fluids and – in a way that hits closer to home for the crane maid than for anybody else in the world – the embryos that come from their eggs.

It almost rendered a tear in her eye, thinking of the generations she had probably wasted, basically _aborted,_ for the sake of giving her superior a satisfying breakfast every day.

But she lived to serve. Even if it personally pained her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are now imagining Iroha's thicc booty plopping out eggs.  
> On the regular.  
> Sorry, not sorry.


	6. An Ikari Halloween

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two sets of inspiration for some of this snippet:
> 
> 1: Wanted to do something for Whip around the time of her birthday on October 12th (by the time this gets posted it'll have been far past the 12th).  
> 2: Leona's Heidern-themed costume in SNK Heroines.

What was usually a month within the season of preparation for the Ikari army towards whatever 'threat of the year' may come was instead part of an open schedule this year as a result of the _King of Fighters_ tournament's rare off-season year.  
And interestingly, it just so happened to be October...

For as long as traditional history has understood, the month of October guaranteed two things:  
A focused respect on all things monsters and the supernatural.  
And c _ostumes galore._

* * *

Unlike most of the other soldiers, Leona didn't have much in the way of being 'social' or having awareness of 'trends' outside of the military world she knew. She was primarily focused on 'the mission at hand' whenever there was one.

Therefore, her costume for the Halloween tradition was a nod to the one she felt the most familial comfort within – the commander who helped bring her into the ranks of the Ikari Warriors.  
Aside from an unbuttoned opening in her jacket, Leona's costume decently replicated the camo-green-colored fashions of Heidern – right down to the cloth wrapped over her right eye.

However, she wasn't as confident about Whip's costume on this 'dark holiday'...  
"I hope you don't feel offended when I ask, but... what exactly are you _supposed_ to be?"

Whip met back on the bluenette with a raised brow, and it was hard to tell if she was perplexed by Leona's lack of pop-culture awareness or if the shiny and squeaky leather of Whip's skin-suffocatingly tight 'Catwoman' cosplay was as uncomfortable as it seemed.

"I figured I had to work with something that involved Voodoo..." Whip held her namesake close, hooped around her forearm. "Might as well put her to good use~"

Leona admitted bluntly, "I feel as though you're _intending_ to be noticed around here..."

"That's half the fun with a costume party like this," responded Whip. "I'd say you might be pretty noticeable too. I know that's not what you mean, considering _who_ you're trying to flatter."

"It's the most I could do," Leona responded. "At the least, the Commander could be flattered by my tribute."  
She was about to exit the quarters she had shared with Whip as they got prepped and properly costumed – but something held her back before she could fully open the door.

The starting few inches of the mystical whip's elastic length hooking right on the back of Leona's pants, wrapped snug around the belt.

This rendered Whip to a chuckle that only slightly struggled to come out. "Sorry~ I think Voodoo's a little flattered herself."  
Seemed as though the festivity of the cosplay was getting to her already. The normal professionalism had stepped aside to warrant an unleashed Voodoo.

Leona wasn't supremely irritated by the notion, only mildly inconvenience.  
"Whip, could you please...?"

Whip chuckled again. "Alright, alright... Voodoo, be a good girl now..."  
She tugged on her prized plaything, bringing Leona closer towards her as she quickly contemplated the best way to unloop Voodoo from her cohort's pants.

Leona's already agitated mood wasn't being helped by every budge that followed.  
"Whip, I'm serious..."

"I know; I'm _trying..._ "  
Whip was tugging a little harder – she was realizing quickly how hard she hooked on, and the results were more difficult than normal

Not to mention torture for the fabric.

_**VRRRIP~!** _

Leona's pants gave up all of a sudden, and _ripped_ almost the whole way off of her waist and beneath.

As soon as she felt air grazing even more on her skin, she looked down, and anyone with top-notch vision could be able to see the tips of Leona's hair already struggle to turn red as she stared coldly at the whip-bearing soldier.

Whip's chuckle was a mixture of shame, comedy and a little bit of _fear_. "I-I swear I didn't mean to do that~!"

She was lucky Leona simply and silently left the room for a new, preferably _untorn_ pair.

* * *

As for the other half that made up the main quartet of famed Ikari soldiers under Heidern's wing – the two that defined the 'Ikari Warriors' name – the keyword to the answer was simply ' _Testosterone_ '.

"What's the matter – Ikari got you pushin' too many pencils?"  
Clark's body put energy towards the muscles that mattered, his right arm struggling against his partner's left; sweat dripped over veins shrouded by the camo face-paint of his Dutch Schafer homage.

"Heh – don't draw 'first blood'..."

Ralf was letting the red headband channel one John Rambo through his simple, shirt-unneeded costume – much like his blond partner, it wasn't exactly high-effort, but to support some 'fictional war heroes', it was on-brand for the Ikari Warriors' motivation of badassery.

To them, it was a very referential moment of manliness – but to Leona trying to walk past them in this cramping hallway, she would rather not have to deal with anything right now.

"Oh – hey, Leona..." The first thing Ralf glimpsed on Leona's costume was the eyepatch. "No guesses as to who you're going as, huh?"

Clark followed, "'Like commander, like agent', right?"

The most Leona let out vocally was a slight grunt of unease as she ducked beneath the clutched-together arms of her cohorts...

As she evaded further contact, both of the strong-armed soldiers were a bit confused about her self-conscious nature of getting around them.

"Huh... something up her ass or somethin'?"  
"Might want to work on that phrasing, Ralf."

Somewhat apt advice given the 'pantsless' state of Leona's tributing costume...

…and how little anything else covered up the admittedly well-curved butt of the blue-haired soldier, and how little of an underlayer of black undergarments there was to cover up the unmentionables. If she wasn't trying to hurry around the corner, she would've had quite the sharp stare to fling at her fellow agents for the possible cheek-peeking.

It could've been worse. It could've been a cat bikini.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah – also played a little bit on the 'Rambo' reference dynamic that the Ikari Warriors were inspired by. Naturally it turned into something more about Schwarzenegger (and his role of Dutch in 'Predator') and Stallone since they're usually the two that are compared alongside one another in terms of 'old-school action film superstars'.


	7. Sylvie the "V-Tuber"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can probably tell from the characters subject within this edition of 'Shin Nihon Shitposts', it wasn't hard to consider who would best represent the oddness of the V-Tuber phenomena.

Ever since the end of the 14th _King of Fighters_ tournament, the 'Official Invitation' Team under Antonov's wing had underwent a bit of a shift.

It started with Kukri's mysterious departure after the tournament finished up – and in recent months, as the off-season continued further, a certain Sylvie Paula Paula was developing more of an online presence.

Being one of the few in the collective to be _very_ out of the loop, the Sichuan performer Mian was surprised to see Sylvie more glued to the computer and the streaming set-up than anything else.

Why exactly was this the case?

* * *

As Mr. Antonov would sum up when his Asian associate came to him:  
"What do you mean, 'what the hell is this'? V-Tubers are all the rage – Sylvie knows a thing or two about trends!"

Antonov's reasoning wasn't giving Mian any better comfort.  
"If she's supposed to be a 'Virtual YouTuber', if I know it like I do," Mian questioned, "I imagine her character is meant to be... well, _virtual?_ "

Antonov's cigar left his lips and entered within his fingers. " _Look at her_ \- even the people who've watched her throw down in the tournament would find it hard to believe she's a real person. She could pull it off."

None of the masks in Mian's collection could be able to perfectly describe the uncertainty she felt about someone like Sylvie taking this type of online role.

Meanwhile, the sounds of a so-far-successful _Banjo Kazooie_ playthrough was heard in the next room over.

" _Eekum-bokum,_ " the game rang out.  
"'Eekum-bokum'~" Sylvie mimed back.

This was going to be quite the phase to work through...

* * *

At some point later in the week, Mian woke up to what sounded like the screeching and wall-thumping fumbling of a monkey being tortured in another room.

Turned out it was Sylvie having a very unpleasant _Outlast_ experience – in full VR, no less.

Mian was losing sleep because of the late-night hijinks going on in the electrified idol's new career.  
"Did she _have_ to be doing this, _this_ late?"

Antonov hand-waved assurance towards the Opera girl's way, handling well his late work with a side of coffee.  
"'Tis the spooky season, Mian – having a scare is simply part of the fun!" It was the month of October, after all...

The opera girl contemplated whether to argue, but she had to consider the benefit for not just Sylvie by herself, but the whole collective of those working under Antonov's umbrella in the corporation behind the _King of Fighters_ tournament's current existence.

If this helped the world for the better, it was an odd choice – but maybe Mian could be able to grow to understand.

She ultimately asked after some time in her quiet thoughts. "...Can I at least have some coffee, then?"

Antonov chuckled. "Might as well; she'll be at this for a while~"

* * *

On the next week's menu, for the most part, was _Grand Theft Auto V._  
Guns, cars, M-rated vulgarity, the usual works – now with the addition of an irregularly-costumed oddball idol with mountainous blonde hair and eerie eyeball decorations, face-cammed in the bottom right corner.

This day had Mian on edge most out of all of Sylvie's previous experiences, for reasons she only started to figure out.  
"Uhhh... Mr. Antonov, sir?"

Cigar still snug in his mouth, Antonov exhaled a breath of good Siberian smoke. "Girl's _already_ a real oddity – this probably just looks like normal life in the outside world in her head."

Unsurprisingly, Sylvie wore a smile on her face even as she listened to the two men in a cutscene talk about someone being 'mad for the penis'.

" _Maybe if you got rid of that old yee-yee ass haircut you got, you'd get some bitches on your dick!_ "

Hearing the loud vulgarness of the gameplay on Sylvie's stream, Mian couldn't help but feel as though something bad was going to happen.  
"Are you... _sure_... she won't dig herself too deep with this?"

And from his own research into the realm of ' _V-Tube_ ' – especially in the Hololive division of the phenomenon – Antonov also felt as though he had seen a scenario play out from something just like this.  
Regardless, he responded with an uncertain squint in his eyes. "Yeah... _I'm sure_ I'm sure."

Despite the discussion, they both were starting to realize the need to eventually interfere, before it was too late. All the while, the in-game dialogue was reaching its vulgar 'critical mass'.  
"... _Maybe_ _Tanisha'll call your dog-ass if she ever stop fuckin' with that brain surgeon or lawyer she fuckin' with,_ _ **ni**_ —"

Before Paula Paula could fully hear the next word incoming, she heard her stream-room door slam open – and saw Mian and Antonov sprint in at a collective panic...!  
"SYLVIE, NO! _**SYLVIE, NO!**_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, 'The Lamar Davis Moment' is legendary in Hololive lore, entrancing several members into saying (or rather, singing) 'The Word'.  
> It could've been worse. She could've talked about Taiwan.


	8. Music Taste = NOT Shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now note that I don't have a grasp at the exact KIND of 'heavy metal' Mai is implied to enjoy from her 'favorite music' (according to the "Garou"/"Fatal Fury" 15th Anniversary site's Japanese-to-English translations) – but based on my own musical tastes, it felt like something I'd like to dabble into for this chapter.

Athena was in a bit of a travel fumble around Southtown and it wasn't going to take a complete-stranger Uber to help her out...

"Thanks for picking me up, Mai..."  
It was weird for Athena, seeing the Shiranui beauty outside of her usual (and typically revealing) garb – even more so to see her behind the steering wheel of something nice, sleek and _vibrantly_ red.

She almost forgot to hop in, but she at least felt the need to be honest, and a little blunt.  
"Stop me if I feel I'm stepping on toes but... I didn't think of you being the type to even _have_ a car. Y'know, being ninjas and all that."

Mai shrugged in return. "It's more Andy's than mine. Between him and me, I haven't figured out who's the 'gaijin' of the relationship."

Athena nervously croaked, grooming the back of her beautiful purple hair... "Yeah..."

"Hey, we're both Japanese babes around here – just hop in~"

…

"Athena, you know how you're big on all things music, right?"

Athena turned her head, slightly puzzled with Mai's conversation-starter. "...You're talking to an _actual_ pop-star right now; I—* _eh-heheh~_ *—I think you can take a guess."

"I guess you're right," Mai giggled...  
"...but I bet you could never guess _my_ taste in music." She was feeling _very_ focused on the topic, befitting the subject of this carpool.

Athena answered, "If it's anything like your sense of fashion and kunoichi-ism, I think I _might_ be interested?"

With convenience under the stop-light, Mai had a moment to set things up; her right hand offered earbuds to Athena, while her left held her phone, scrolling swiftly through Spotify – keeping it angled so the idol wouldn't peek.  
"Well? You wanna find out or not?"

"I dunno..." Athena held the earbuds awkwardly, unsure with this... "I feel like you're setting me up just to mess with me here..."

"I think you might be surprised," Mai winked, as the traffic light shined green above.

Athena put the buds into her ears, hoping for the best.

Truth was, she was not ready no matter how she felt.

It took all of 3 seconds into the song until the Psycho Soldier's ears were invaded with the sounds of a man giving pretty much 100% of his vocal cords to an almost inhuman roar – and by 20 seconds in, as the heavy-as-hell-itself instrumentals took more of a form, she was melting in her seat from absolute uncomfortableness.

All this before the lyrics even fully kicked in...

"~ _Come on DOWN, and see the idiot right here!  
Too fucked to beg, and not afraid to care!  
What's the matter with calamity anyway?  
Right?! Get the fuck outta my face!~_"

What was dealing with was louder and more vulgar than her usual standards. No sir, this was definitely not in the realm of pop – or any sort of happiness at all, for that matter. All she had penetrating her head with dubious consent was **impure-blooded heavy metal.**

" _~Everybody hates me now, so fuck it,  
blood's on my face and my hands, and I don't know—_"  
Just as the vocal track calmed _slightly_ , it paused.

Mai had just hit 'pause', sparing Athena's ears any more to endure.  
"Alright, alright, I think I can see how you feel..."  
Then she had a good glance at the... erm, well, indescribable look of uncertainty on the purple-haired girl's face. "Well, how _do_ ya feel?"

Athena needed a moment to re-emerge into reality after the minute or two of hardcore loudness she let overwhelm her. The song had paused, but she could still hear it in the deeper ends of her brain.  
"...is 'violated' too strong a word?"

Mai had a snorty little laugh to herself.  
"I'd say it's pretty on point for your first time. Heck, I feel like you handled it better than others with a song like that. These guys _do_ have some 'softer' songs... eh, define 'softer' in their terms – to you, it probably wouldn't sound much different, now would it?"

Athena replied, "I dunno – I've only listened to the _one_ song so far."

…

Mai's smile curved mischievously.  
"Wanna listen to another?"

Athena nearly fell into hysterics again.  
"N-nonono, I'm good-I'm good~!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confession: I'm somewhat of a Slipknot fan myself.  
> (And yes, the chapter title is a nod to the song used within it, "People = Shit")


	9. Ribbit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The inspiration of this 'shitpost':  
> https://imgur.com/ZECje2y
> 
> Just to remind you just the type of costumes Falcoon designed back in the day. It's just the cherry on top in this Maximum Impact-centric snippet.

For a little while now, Lien Neville had grown accustomed to dangers that came with Southtown, and that her shadow was always followed not far after by a certain 'ninja-bee'.

Today wasn't much different, but she had yet to encounter her unwanted rival in some capacity...

It was still the start of the afternoon, and a nameless thug in the cluster of Southtown gangs had freshly fallen at Lien's hands. No one knew it was her but herself, and the blood of the used knife needed a little cleansing.

Convenience welcomed her, as she was not too far off from the deep lake that scaled across from Southtown to another region of the American Southwest. However, there was something else that welcomed her – a lonely amphibian perched, platformed atop the water a slight distance from the surface.

The little chubby frog sitting in the water stared out at Lien with a gaze that seemed artificial. Even on a surface level, she could tell by the shine of the frog's skin that it was simply not real.

A smarmy, clever grin met Lien's face. "Hmph... is this another one of your ploys, Nagase?"

With a flick of the wrist, she defied the plush-frog by throwing the dirty knife at it, nailing it between the eyes, before turning away and taking a few steps away – knowing fully what was going to ensue...

 _ **BWOOOSH!  
**_ There was the sound of water jetting up like an explosion from underneath the blue – and Lien met halfway, knowing what was coming down on her. Her metal gauntlet was the easiest source of defense on her body, blocking out the sharp blade that tried to stab down towards something vital.

"What's the matter? Upset that I keep reading you out?"

Lien swung her gauntlet-clad arm across to send her opponent into a backwards leap – but as soon as she took that first look at the ninja-twerp once she landed, she realized she was faced with the rival looking quite different from the norm.

Come to think of it: there was much explaining needed for just what in God's green earth Nagase was wearing...  
Frog hat, frog gloves, frog color-scheme, frog _everything_ was what Nagase chose to wear – and it looked hilariously disgusting in a fashion sense. Her usual honeybee theme was not by any means a reasonable outfit in the world, but this frog number makes other oddjobs like Mignon Beart seem normal by comparison.

Lien's guard lowered as a result of her being less able to take Nagase seriously. "Kid, just be frank with me – what the hell is _that?_ "

"Ex _cuse_ me _,_ bitch?" Nagase's expression soured further, as she pulled the knife out of the stuffed frog that was her tacky-as-hell hat.  
"You already dissed the hat when you tried to headshot me – I'm not gonna let you disrespect ' _The Gallant Jiraiya_ ' right to my face!"

Lien snorted, baffled. "Beg pardon?"

Nagase's frog-head-mittens clenched. "Y'know, Jiraiya? Embodies the toad, fights snakes? Like you, you... b-big-tittied snake!"

"Spewing ridiculousness, as usual. What 'anime' did you get _that_ from?"

"It's not an anime thing!" Nagase groaned and face-frog-palmed... "Ugh, of course you don't know shit about Japanese lore – it's not like you know much else except 'kill' and 'be sexy'...!"

Regardless of ridiculous fashion sense, Nagase again pursued Lien with slashing strikes, but her opposition out-maneuvered and blocked out the ninjato strikes, shutting off the speed of the action seconds after it picked up.

After hooking around Nagase's blade-wielding arm, Lien tied in around the ninja's back with a hammerlock.  
"I know the difference between a toad and a frog – clearly _you_ don't."

"There's not _that_ much of a difference – you can't fool me with that know-it-all crap~"

The position refreshed again, as Lien wrapped herself even tighter around the frog-costumed rival, in a headlock.  
"Toads are warty, ugly and would rather crawl like they're pathetic. Frogs are leggy, slimy and prone to jumping around – something that I'd say more resembles you. Though I'm partial to making you _really_ feel like a toad when I'm done with you..."

Nagase growled with discomfort as Lien's arm crunched against her neck... "Urgh...! For your information... enngh—it was Hyena who put this stuff together – if there's anyone here who really doesn't know the difference, it's him!"

"Likely story from a slimy tongue." Quite suddenly after that, Lien started to shove her hand against Nagase's mouth. "Not like you really deserve one, anyways..." She pulled the hand back, her index and thumb pinched around Nagase's tongue.

"Hey~! Le' go of meh'!" Nagase half-eligibly shouted as Lien pulled harshly on her tongue. The leather forced against her taste buds didn't help matters, either...

The tussle only had the prospect of escalating into actual blood-spilling action, based on how previous encounters between the buxom yellowjacket and the (usually) orange stinger had gone, in less public / even tighter sceneries.

"Croak for me, you little geek!"  
"Fuck you, you big slut~!"

What those two saw as another odd chapter in a bitter rivalry in the underground plots of the town, bystanders would see as a well-endowed assassin bullying this weirdo in a frog costume.

Such was life in Southtown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never forget Frogase.


	10. Be NOBODY'S Guest?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PREMISE: An ode to the recent phenomena of SNK characters popping up as guests in other (mostly) fighting games – and of the usual bunch, there's a few who, outside of the occasional crossover into mobile games, don't get any big opportunities...

Today was a day for sharing the connections that were made throughout the fighting circuit – from the Shin Kikaku Network, to those outside the borders of the universe – and the Pao Pao Cafe was absolutely _packed_ as a result.

In short, those who came from SNK and entered another game's fray, were welcome to bring along some friends from the other end of the pool – and from that, there was an impressive outcome of 'guests' who came around, and the friends they made thanks to the guests SNK gave them in return:

First things first was probably the most testosterone-filled clash of the bunch: two bad dads in Geese Howard and _Tekken_ 's own Heihachi Mishima were engaged in the most aura-wrapped struggle of arm-wrestling ever imagined.

A similar clash of grizzled men was not too far off, with wandering warrior Haohmaru respectfully clashing swords with _Soul Calibur_ 's iconic samurai Mitsurugi.

On the other edge, shifting tone somewhat, was an evenly-feminine collection of giggles and respect for one another, with Mai and Kula having a duet of hugs and ice cream with _Dead or Alive's_ Kasumi and Marie Rose, respectively. Almost romantic in a way – but that was to be expected with _DoA_.

Lastly to note for now ( _though not the last of the collabs featured here_ ), was probably the oddest of the sort. Though he would rather be alone, Iori had to share the space around him with some warriors of the _Arcana Blood_ – several of which were oddly named 'Arthur'.

To be expected, not _everyone_ on SNK's end of the spectrum was able to get the chance to cross over; including one who felt as though, quite ironically considering his powers, he had gotten burned on the deal – or _lack_ of deals, actually.

"Iori and the ice girl are getting deals, and I'm just sitting here with my bros – what a world, heh?"  
Kyo was sitting alongside his Team Japan associates – Benimaru and Daimon – at the barlength-table of the cafe, watching on at the guests aplenty that were out of reach in more ways than one for the Kusanagi.

"Don't let it get to you, Kyo," Benimaru assured. "I've already made peace knowing I'm an 'acquired taste' for some – even _within_ the _King of Fighters_ fanbase."

Daimon nodded, ever consistent with his crossed arms and closed-but-focused eyes. "I'm in no need of extra opportunity. The way of Judo is strong where it stands."

It didn't surprise Kyo that the 'secondaries' wouldn't be too bothered – these guest spots usually only took the most popular.  
On the other hand, as he was scanning the emptier ends of the room, he noticed another sight at one corner of the cafe – two gi-wearing notables, in the Sakazaki siblings Ryo and Yuri.

Kyo spoke up, "You, too?"

"Mostly Yuri," answered Ryo. "Patience is a virtue, but she could use an excursion of some form, whether it's something we know, or something like _Virtua Fighter..._ "

Yuri perked up. "Wait, is there a new Virtua Fighter coming out?!"

Ryo shrugged – the answer wasn't certain, as all that was described thus far of the recent news was the 'eSports' aspect.

Regardless, they were just two of a handful of famed fighters in the SNK circuit alongside Kyo, to not get their big crossover break just yet.

After another brief pause in conversation...  
"Hey, if there's _anything_ to smile about," Benimaru suddenly spoke up again, "thanks to Terry getting invited, at least we get to be in attendance for the Smash Bros. tournaments."

Kyo shrugged in return. "Not Mai, though – for some reason, to them, she's not meant for 'good boys and girls'."

By this point, something came across Daimon's mind. "Speaking of Terry – where do you think he is right now?"

Kyo glanced up in thought...  
"Good question..."

* * *

Unlike most of the SNK cast that had the opportunity to be a guest elsewhere, Terry wound up with _two_ 'guest responsibilities' – on games with varying levels of popularity.

And currently, he was being overwhelmed by some Nintendo mascots who were simply _ecstatic_ to want the Legendary Wolf in on the Nintendo-branded hijinks: Kirby, Pikachu, Jigglypuff, the whole nine yards of fluffy cuteness.

"C'mon now, you... whatever you all are~" He stammered. "There's plenty of time to mingle elsewhere...!"

Yet, it was not just the bouncy, non-human oddities that wanted along with the ride – but there was another set of characters, representing the _Fighting EX Layer_ roster, of which Terry also had his fingers in on ( _before his Smash inclusion, actually_ ):

"This is getting... quite absurd..." The Indian wrestler, Darun Mister, scratched his head in confusion.

The young woman Darun was enlisted to protect, Middle Eastern dance-fighter Pullum Purna, spoke up next. "We should help him, but... you never know if there's a 'hidden strength' in there..."

"Allow me!" The most popular of the group, superhero Skullomania, was the first to have a mind to rush in on the situation. "Unhand that Southtowner, you weirdly-adorable sentient plushies!"

And in the center of all that, the cause of such hilarious chaos?  
A simple clash of schedules.

Sometimes having more than one guest spot could prove detrimental to your safety...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just happened to be around the week of Kyo's birthday, too (December 12th) – though by the time this is uploaded, it'll have been days after.


	11. CHRISTMAS SHITPOSTS: Tree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a couple days in the making already; I have a few chapters ready for the holiday season, and since it's the week leading up to Christmas Day (which is this Friday), they'll be posted throughout the week. Probably the most effort I've put into my fanfiction career in a while (based on my usual time spent between updates), and after my computer had a brief near-death experience a couple days ago, it's something I want to go through without much procrastination.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the start of what's to come, and Happy Holidays!

At the moment, the Ikari Warriors were out on a brief travel into the snow-caked greens of the forests not too far from HQ – however, it wasn't long before _something_ happened to cause backup to helicopter over towards it, as a result of what could've easily evolved into a big flaming mess if it wasn't a snowy winter at this stage of the year.

Flanking the small fleet of emergency forces to survey the noticeable soot and smoke in the forest, was Whip, carrying with her the namesake she called Voodoo.

As she was dropped off from her transport, she was quickly met with two-thirds of the Ikari team in Leona and Clark – from the hastened pace of how they emerged from the greens, they didn't seem to have much time to anticipate the arrival of others.

For this was more a business matter than anything else, Whip was straight to the point, if with a little bit of selective sass.  
"We just got reports about a small explosion in the middle of the woods. _Not suspecting Ralf,_ of course, but considering the team here..."

Leona stepped forward first, briefly saluting. "Whip – just so you know, what happened here was not fully agreed with..."

Whip's expression soured further, slightly. "...It _was_ Ralf, wasn't it?"

Clark nodded. "Yes. Yes it was."

"Of course," Whip groaned... "What did he do this time?"

Leona glanced back at the forest behind the Warriors... "I think you might be able to see for yourself..."

Basically summoned into the scene, the man with the explosive fists finally reunited with the rest of his team, hoisting with full forearm and shoulder over his right side, an uprooted tree that looked almost tall enough to touch its tip with the height of which the helicopters flew over here at.

Ralf saluted and proclaimed, "Hey Whip, glad you're here; look at this big green beast! Might need a _lot_ of lights if we're gonna be setting this up back at the base, though...!"

As soon as she clicked two and two together and realized, Whip facepalmed.  
"You're kidding... we had word about a possible wildfire, and it's all for the sake of a single Christmas tree? The hell even happened then?!"

Clark responded, "Let's just say Ralf and I agreed to a bet..."

Leona continued, "...A bet that, before it was accepted, was already agreed upon as a 'potential disaster'."

"In short – _errgh~!_ " As he prepped to answer with his own flair, Ralf readjusted the weight of the tree upon his shoulders with a mighty grunt. "I 'Galactica Phantomed' a tree; and it works, Whippy – it fuckin' works!"

It worked better than expected from the looks of it – aside from the burnt, smoldering hole driven into the tree bark from where it made impact.

Among the small flock that followed the young whip-bearer, one soldier approached, among the many willing to help extinguish what was probably left. "We're ready to give aid if it's necessary, ma'am..."

Whip ordered back, after slight reluctance under frustration...  
"Just scope out the inside to see how far the damage has gone... best scenario, we won't need to do as much as the snow will."

As the small squad that joined her dispersed, Whip laid her eyes fully onto the Ikari trio, drifting halfway as she looked at the tree-carrying Ralf and the handful of the 'cleanup crew' scoping out into the forest. She was uncertain whether this odd situation would demand some sort of reprimand, whether for reason or for result.

Ultimately, she sighed...  
"I guess we're all lucky this isn't the type of weather that helps spread the flames..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagine Whip just wants to live a peaceful life sometimes.


	12. CHRISTMAS SHITPOSTS: Snowman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please disregard how I somehow mistimed uploading this to AO3.

Kula Diamond had achieved winter perfection on this day – and unlike what she was capable of in a matter of seconds with her chilling powers, she decided this time to work things out the hard way, and use the snow that fell past the clouds over the past day, to form a dainty, _natural_ snowman.

She didn't have a carrot on hand, but the rock pebbles she found were enough of a size to form the eyes and smile without too much of the snow-molded canvas being filled.

When completed, it was a welcoming sight.

But then something took a turn as soon as she saw the snowman start to 'sweat' – and shrink – and _puddle at her feet._

Kula was flummoxed, and a little terrified at the sight, as she dropped down to her knees and started to dip her gloves into the mostly-liquid in an effort to re-solidify it...

...but then the puddle bubbled in a sudden heat, and at the same time, she noticed an opposing hand on the other end of the little pool – and she glanced up to see a small pair of specs worn in front of two red, untrustworthy eyes.

"Aah!" Kula yelped as the heat in her gloves boosted dangerously high all of a sudden - as a controlled flame on the other end of the puddle bubbled the water lightly.

"I'd say it deserves a little heat, don't you think?" Flashing the flames with a bastard's flair, the Addes underling Nagase grinned with a smarmy evilness, taking pride in the pain in Kula's eyes.

The Ice Doll's mood quickly soured into a different level of 'upset', gazing sharply into her firey opposition. "Y-you—!"

Nagase laughed, like the scrawny bully she was. "Fire beats ice any day of the week, doll; I don't even care about the season – I just wanted to show you who's the alpha female."

After seeing the former NESTS agent nearly tear up in frustration, Nagase continued, "Oh, what's the matter; you gonna cry now?"

She continued to look down on Kula, until the ice-bearer stared up to her with a shift away from sadness, into vitriol. Kula knew exactly what was going to come to her aid...

…as _**SHING**_ went two blades that slung past on Kula's left and right respectively – as her guardians in Diana and Foxy were now here to her aid.

"You should run," suggested Diana.  
"Though, we won't mind having to fight about it if you don't," added Foxy.

Unsurprisingly, Nagase wasn't one to show she was 'yellow-bellied', trying to play it off cool ( _ironic for her elements_ ).  
"Oh look, the 'two mommies' came to save their baby girl~" She already had a hand wrapped behind on the handle of her weaponry... "You think I'm afraid of you two? Bitches, please..."

Just as she started her distance, stepping from the pointy blockade, she found _another_ blockade forming right behind her.  
A _very well-endowed_ blockade, at that.

Nagase just needed to look up _once_ to see Lien Neville's even sharper gaze looking down on her with a sense of dominance.

Lien said with calm serenity befitting the 'Angel of Death', "Maybe you're not afraid of them... but what about _me?_ "

Nagase tried her hardest not to look even _slightly_ unnerved. "Oh, don't you fuckin' look down me like you're _my_ mom...!"

Lien retaliated in just, hammerlocking Nagase's arm before she could unsheath the blade. "Oh, I bet you'd wish I _was_ your mommy. Otherwise, all you'd get was a spanking."

" _Urk—_!" Nagase felt a sudden sharp, stabbing sensation – as she was sneakily shanked in the side. Unsurprisingly, Lien was willing to go the mile to pierce skin before Diana or Foxy could, holidays be damned.

On top of that, Lien leaned in closer to Nagase's ear and whispered sinister nothings... "But you won't even get _that_ distinction from me..."

"Urgh...!" Nagase pried Lien's blade-clutching hand away with simple force, and quickly rested a hand around the area bleeding beneath. Despite the pain, she laughed it off...  
"Heh... guess you got me..."

Lien retorted, "And unless you're willing to die for me, this will be a _long time_ going..."

Nagase smirked. "It might be, but I've got places to go~" Then she warped out in a puff of flame.

With the bratty ninja gone, Lien was now left with no-one of importance to put attention towards, but Kula and her protectors.  
"Know I did that for _my_ benefit before _yours,_ " Lien said, as she gazed down on Kula, and the puddle that _used_ to be a snowman.  
"You look like you've seen death – there's plenty more snow around here, you'll be fine."

Though the two rapier-wielding guardians were welcome to the aid, it didn't mean they were fully on Lien's side.

"Weather's just barely approaching the negatives, honey," Diana commented. "You sure you're fine going around like _that?_ "

An apt question; aside from the zipper being fully zipped up – a small courtesy for herself countered by all her otherwise vicious intentions – Lien managed to do fine in these winter days with the exact catsuit getup she was most recognized in...  
"If you were anything like me, you'd know that I've been feeling cold for a long, _long_ time..."

She squatted down to Kula's kneeling level... "...and from the look in your eyes, kid – so have _you._ "

On the other end, the former anger in the Ice Doll's eyes was mixed with uncertainty towards the relative stranger gazing upon her. Diana and Foxy continued to stand close, but Kula was the most clueless towards Lien's presence.  
"...Should I fear you?"

Lien smiled lightly. "Only if you choose to." She briefly ruffled the icy-blue hair on the 'Anti-K' agent.  
"Go on now, play in the snow~" Then she walked away, down the icy, snowy sidewalk...

What she felt there, towards Kula, was not entirely personal – but, as they say, it was a matter of ' _The enemy of my enemy is my friend_ '.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, I feel like I might get a little bit of milage out of this Nagase/Lien feud - also, in a semi-relevant note, Nagase/Angel feels like a viable ship in my KoF fanfic-headcanon, being "The Kula Bullies".


	13. CHRISTMAS SHITPOSTS: Fruitcake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains a brief bit of lewdness.

The spirit of the holidays always kept the plucky Yuri all-smiles through even the most bitter cold weather – not just because of the warmth of being with family, but also the warmth she got being with an 'Italian Stallion' like Robert Garcia.

The week heading into the 25th, however, was the party at the Sakazaki dojo/home, and it was there where Yuri felt she could turn things up a notch. With a comfy red sweater and black leg-hugging tights, she dressed comfortably, and she had a gift planned for ...

...and this gift was probably not going to be way outside of what he'd expect from her.

In the midst of a conversation with her love interest, Yuri thought towards what she had planned once the opportunity opened.  
"Oh, that reminds me – since it _is_ the holidays and all, I've been _trying_ to figure out something to give you; something out of the norm of what guys like you would probably want~"

"'Tis the season, Yuri," replied Robert. "Whatever you give, as long as you put your heart into it..."

"Okay... well... do you like fruitcake?"  
"It's... not something I'd say is my favorite..."  
"Well, I, uh... I have some for you – in my room."  
"...Seems like a weird place to keep it..."

"It's better off; Ryo and Dad aren't big on sweets if it gets in the way of keeping a 'fighter's body'."  
Yuri handled Robert's hands in her own, and prepped to lead the way...  
"C'mon, Robbie, let's go get it before the ants do~"

* * *

The anticipation of successfully luring her beloved towards the surprise was itching within Yuri, and she was a little jumpy at the moment – unlike how Robert took his steps, of which Yuri noticed rather quickly.  
"You seem a little surprised."

Robert shrugged lightly. "I mean... I never suspected you'd know how to bake..."

By this point, Yuri had reached the door to her room, and opened it...  
"Oh, this cake didn't need baking, actually..."

"Pardon?" Robert said, now slightly confused. "You're not just pulling my leg – there _is_ a fruitcake, right?

"Oh, there _absolutely_ is..."  
This was the moment Yuri was waiting for...

Suddenly, she had plopped herself onto the bed, bending over deeply, as she suddenly pulled down her leggings without hesitation; from the plump flesh exposed, it became clear she took a risk and went into this home party without any underwear beneath the tights...

What was also noticeable was the abundance of little stickers dotted all over her buttcheeks, of various fruits – apples, oranges, cherries, the whole nine yards of sweet produce, decorated all over her booty.  
"...and it could use a banana stuffed into it~"  
From the spread of the cheeks provided, there was no going around it in any different way.

As he gazed into the 'wonderful abyss' jiggling before him, Robert caught the wordplay quicker than the underside of his pants catching the 'rising force of the tiger' in his loins.

He couldn't help but smile with a sort of baffled intrigue.  
"Well, it's certainly something 'out of the 'norm', as you say..."  
Clearly, he was gradually being dictated by the first syllable of 'dictated'.

* * *

"I gotta say, Takuma-sensei, you have good eyes for barbecue."  
"Yes, yes, I know my way around the flames, alright; it's known by customers as the 'The Crisp of a Dragon's Breath' for a reason!"

In the midst, patriarch Takuma and Brazilian-division instructor Khushnood were closest to the feast table, enjoying the former's ever-improving culinary ambitions; the recently- Kyokugen BBQ restaurant business was quite the shortcut to a quickly-arranged holiday feast, if somewhat unorthodox.

Aside from the two grizzled men enjoying the rather non-holiday-like barbecue, there was Ryo and the plus-one he was left to mingle with – that being the queen behind 'The Illusion', the woman known by most only as 'King'.

At the moment, Ryo happened to be thinking about Yuri and Robert, and how something just simply didn't add up in the middle of the overheard conversation...  
"Sometimes, it baffles me, just what Yuri thinks about when she's with him..."

King glanced towards Ryo's way. "Something on the mind?"

"King, tell me; did she ever tell you she was thinking about learning how to bake?"

"She never told you or Takuma?"

"With the training she's been going through the past few years, she wouldn't have _that_ much time to learn culinary, as far as I know. I'm just worried for Robert's stomach, whatever the end result..."

Right then and there, there was a barely noticeable sound coming from Yuri's bedroom; certainly wasn't Robert letting the supposed 'fruitcake' settle – rather, it was Yuri's moans, akin to the strains of endurance she would emit from the extravagant Kyokugenryu exercises of past sessions.

Ryo didn't think about it too long – still hung up on there literally being a fruitcake, he would've assumed Yuri had some sort of struggle.

King, on the other hand, had herself a thought that was probably more accurate to the situation over there. A bit of a woman's intuition, perhaps?  
"I dunno – something tells me Robert's liking the taste."

Then more noises – that of some sweet-talk, very noticeably _also_ coming from Yuri...

" _Yeah, that's some good-ass cake, right?_ "

Hearing that a little clearer than the blond beside her, King couldn't fully shield the blushing smile on her face as she realized just how acquainted Yuri was getting with 'The Raging Tiger'.

On the other hand, it had finally kicked in within Ryo the absolute extent Yuri was going – and he was trying his best not to have the shadow of embarrassment for his sister show, _especially_ on the exterior.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know I had to make reasons to provide more Yuri booty to the KoF fandom.


	14. CHRISTMAS SHITPOSTS: Mistletoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last of the holiday-themed set of snippets (not to mention a slightly late post as well) – I kinda planned on this being posted on Christmas Eve for the near-daily set, but I had festivities with family to do that day and on Christmas Day as well.
> 
> AO3 Bonus Note: I somehow forgot to post this for a couple days after the FFN version's release.

The mistletoe: one of those holiday traditions that you often don't really think about above the usual stuff like presents, the winter weather, Santa Claus, trees, et cetera... unless you were either _very_ romantic or _very_ lonely.

Because history dictated that whenever lovers – or just two people standing around – stood beneath this little decoration, it meant they should kiss or risk bad luck.

Thankfully, the vast majority choose the 'kiss' option – and this was the story of a ' _King of Fighters_ tournament'-ruled community that followed along with the tradition.

* * *

" _Oh Aaaaandyyyy_ ~"

Mai and Andy's love and respect ( _but mostly love on Mai's half_ ) carried its way from Japan to Southtown, and even in the middle of wanting to meet up with Terry, something specifically caught the bouncy ninja's eyes.

Her significant other followed suit, glancing up to the lip-magnet plant... "I suppose there's no tip-toeing around the idea..." Andy said.

"Oh, there's definitely no excuses this time," Mai chimed, already wrapping her arms around the blond.

The two embraced and shared the lip-lock for a warming length of time – what better time than the cold but serene holidays to continue to keep that warmth alive?

* * *

France was no stranger to the concept of love, and was probably more known as 'the romantic type' equivalent of Earth's countries.

Being just one notorious example, Ash Crimson was the type of guy to flirt all he wants and somehow get nowhere in the romantic scene, and the pseudo-brother/sister aspect between him and didn't prevent him from continuing such antics with her.

"Oh, Betty; I think I found something~"

At Ash's call, Elisabeth looked back and upwards, seeing the mistletoe being loomed over her head by her companion.  
She sighed and shook her head, more baffled than annoyed with him being so forward. "Oh Ash, for God's sake..."

Ash lowered it from above the gentlewoman's head, chuckling. "I'm such a tease, aren't I~?"

Elisabeth stifled a baffled chuckle, sitting a hand on Ash's shoulder as she shook her head. "No, you're not..."

"Yeah, I know, I know – I'm surprised even now, sometimes you don't expect this sort of stuff from me..."  
At least, from his perspective, it seemed as though Elisabeth was just the normal kind of 'bothered' over these little hijinks, to which it was felt as harmless nudging...

…Until she pulled him in and gave a brief but effective kiss on the left of his face – though from how he reacted, freezing up on the spot, it felt like one on the _lips_.

"Were you expecting _that?_ " she then retorted.

Ash was blushing almost as deep a red as his outfit. "You..." He cleared his throat, and from then on, his voice dropped an octave. "You do realize I was _joking,_ right, Betty?"

Elisabeth chuckled, having successfully caught the Sneering Blaze off-guard.  
"Don't act stupid. You got what you wanted."

* * *

"Oh my-my – looks like the gift came early this year..."

"Oh, just come here and have a taste, you little devil~"

As soon as Mature and Vice caught wind of the notorious floral decoration within the realm of the surface world, it became their excuse to wrap their bodies in one another's warm hugging grasp and just go to town on one another, no matter how deep into public they are.

This world had its interesting traditions throughout the year, but nothing as open to lip-service as this.

Open even within the close presence of the Orochi-cursed man they just simply couldn't leave alone – Iori stood and glared at the sight with a sort of disgust, but that of an unsurprised variant...

"Can't even trust these women to protect their virginity – _why am I not surprised by this?_ "

Mature broke away for only a couple seconds...  
"You're welcome to join in~"

Iori turned away, partway. " _Don't even touch me._ "  
He was long growing stale on the idea, having before experienced the sinful lust of the Hakkesshu secretaries too much before...

* * *

Lastly in the examples, the looming presence of the little mistletoe befell upon a certain 'Psycho Soldier' and her closest friend.  
What were the odds that this would happen at such a populated public setting? Quite high in general, actually, but... not to these two personally.

"I-is this really happening, Athena?!"  
At the moment, Kensou was almost in hysterics, in the inbetween of laughing and whimpering as his nerves were slowly getting to him.

However, something about the cute glint in Athena's eyes as she wrapped her arms around him, calmed him at a moment where it would've been otherwise pants-spunking.

"I guess, just this once, you can be _my_ 'Psycho Soldier'," proclaimed Athena with all the cutie-charisma she could publicly muster. "Come here~"

With that, Athena tightened her arms around him...

…for a moment, until another force entered the fray, smashing into Kensou; he wound up grabbing onto Athena from the side, as he tried not to fall – but at the same time he pulled Athena towards where he stood moments ago...

Athena only had a moment to glance at her friend, before she felt a pair of lips smash against hers. Lips that very clearly weren't Kensou's.  
"Mmmhhn—!"  
She couldn't quite get a good glimpse beyond the eyes, due to the all-too-close sight – but as she broke away, only _then_ did Athena realize just who that pink-haired intruder was.

"M-Mignon?!"  
As it seemed, Athena just couldn't seem to get away from the pink witch – even in the the more personal realms of her life.

"No one's getting between you and Mignon while she's still around!" proclaimed the shrill girl, afterwards chortling with the successful kiss-steal tucked under her metaphorical belt.

By this point, Kensou was flat on his ass, flustered by the situation. "What the—how the—?!" However, he had enough of that 'Dragon Spirit' in him to pick himself up. "...What is _wrong_ with you?!"

"Oh poor little Kensou… it's obvious you'll never know the way of the heart like this kitten..."  
Tonight, Mignon was feeling accomplished, having inject herself in the midst of a relationship she had no right in interfering in. Worst of all of her unbudging attitude, was the swipe of her tongue across her lips, tasting her 'victory'.

"And it's surprising to admit; you have good taste, Asamiya – if you catch Mignon's drift~"  
A smarmy wink twitched upon her quote-unquote 'clever' grin...

...seconds before getting a fist smashed into ( _and nearly THROUGH_ ) her face, courtesy of her 'rival'.

On this day, it was the first time Athena punched someone in the face outside of the tournament setting, and didn't regret it.  
It was also the first time Mignon felt what it was like to have a broken nose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sidenote 1: You're lucky I didn't have Athena call Kensou 'her little PogChamp'. I feel like that meme is already close to death by the time I post this.  
> Sidenote 2: Mignon is the Goro Majima to Athena's Kazuma Kiryu. Yes, I've played Yakuza.


	15. Pillows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Premise: Meitenkun loses his pillow, and then stuff happens.  
> Locale/timeline: Competitor-filled hotel, during KoF XIV.

It was a brief but weird little moment of downtime for the China Team.

In short, Meitenkun somehow misplaced his favorite pillow _somewhere_ in the hotel, and had wandered off in search for it. Now it was down to the bedhead's associates to follow him down the 'rabbit hole'.

"I know Meiten well enough, and yet even I'm not sure how well he'd handle on his own..." admitted the oddly-dressed Shun'ei.

"Let's just hope no one is getting between him and his needed rest..." said the mentor, Tung Fu Rue. "They wouldn't like him when he's crabby."

* * *

Terry bowed lightly to the presence of the elder that helped him hone his skills so many years ago.  
"Master Tung; sorry, but we don't know where he went."

Beside him was brother and long-time teammate Andy.  
"He's probably still within the building – this place is usually locked down by night."

Tung nodded in return. "It was worth a shot asking; thank you..."

Low progress to start, but at least Tung got to catch up briefly with a former student...

As for Shun'ei...

* * *

"Hey. You two – have you seen where my friend went?"

The green-haired prospect was similarly finding little progress in the search, and another pair of competitors, in the form of the ball-and-'Chang' and his quarter-pint Freddy Krueger, were approached in the midst of it.

"Eh? What's it to you?" Chang responded.  
"Like we give a damn about where some sleepy kid went," added Choi. "And even if we did know, would we tell you?"

The two Korean criminals laughed obnoxiously, with Chang particularly ruffling Shun'ei's feathers by flicking down his often-worn headphones.

_A minute later..._

Being met with nothing but mockery, Shun'ei left the room with his emotions in check – and the KO'd bodies of Chang and Choi left on the other side of the now-closing door.

He passed by Tung not long after, as the two formed back up.  
"He's not in there."

* * *

When the China Team consulted Antonov's invited band of misfits, it _almost_ seemed like some progress would be made.

But then Sylvie decided to consult not just the eyes on her face – but all the 'eyes' she wore on her whole body.

"Bibibibi~? You didn't see 'fluffy pillow' anywhere?"  
She fluffed the blue eyeball worn upon the left of her head, to no avail.  
"What about _you?_ " She then lifted her left leg in an attempt to bring the green eyeball on her ankle up to her ear.  
"What do you mean 'is my refridgerator running'?! There isn't a fridge in here~!"

Her fusing about, balance be damned, lead to her flopping onto the floor and rolling about in an attempt to wrangle her eyeball-decorated limb into some sort of sense. Whatever 'sense' makes sense in her upside-down mind, at least.

Shun and Tung watched on, both equally as confused towards the absurd... 'comedy act?' going on in front of them

And in one corner of the room was the hooded mystery himself, Kukri, detached from interaction in this whole scene playing out before him – by far the most disinterested in this scenario, both with Sylvie's antics, and with the presence of Shun'ei who he would never want to actively share the room with ( _unless they were going to fight_ ).

"You two should probably just fuck off. She'll be at this for a while."

* * *

Of the many rooms checked, the least progress was made through trying to check up the Yagami Team.

The most Tung and Shun got with Iori was right at the doorway, as the red-head glared with an unfeeling glare.

"I don't care."  
The door closed almost as quickly as it was opened. Seemed like he would rather deal with the Hakkesshu secretaries at a time like this.

* * *

"Hey, 'Headphones'~!"

The journey ended sooner rather than later, as Shun and Tung were met with – of all competitors from the tournament – the buxom-brawler from Team Mexico, Angel.

"I think you lost a _sonámbulo_ – found him wandering around; y'got anything on this?"  
Looked as though the former NESTS underling had beaten the China reps in the search, as she had the thankfully-not-lost Meiten wrapped around her front, somewhat obscured by his pillow that she had clutched in her hands.

"Solving two problems in one, are you?" Tung chuckled, bemused at who it was, of all people, lending aid. "Young bucks are certainly trying to redefine 'a helping hand'..."

"Hold that thought, 'Grandpa'," Shun'ei interjected. "Even if she's trying to lend a hand in this, she looks like she has something to hide. You didn't hurt him, did you?"

"Dunno what _you're_ talkin' about – I didn't lay a scratch on the poor kid..."  
Angel moving aside the pillow, entirely into her left hand, helped to unveil the upper part of Meitenkun's body, revealing that he was basically asleep standing – and his head was curved against the firmness and hugeness of Angel's breasts.  
"But," she giggled, "let's just say he might've found some _better_ pillows."

Silence fell upon the hall.

Shun'ei had an expression of simple uneasiness with his partner's hopefully well-comfortable position against this relative stranger's bodacious bosom.

As for Tung – his expression wasn't shifted away from a raised eyebrow upon an overall mostly-neutral expression.

Then, he nodded.  
"Just be sure he comes back safely."  
Tung then turned to leave...

Shun'ei stuttered, "Y-you're not seriously suggesting we just leave him like that?!"

"I can see it in her aura. She's usually one for mischief, but I can tell this is one instance where she doesn't feel the need." The elder left the scene after that.

Meanwhile, Angel shrugged, her chest flexing slightly and causing a tiny wobble against Meitenkun's resting head. "Old man's right; kid just wants to rest his head."  
She then waved her arms outwards, and Meitenkun semi-consciously met back with a hug onto her to help rebalance himself.

"Don't even need to hold 'im," Angel then added, "this kid _really_ wanted this."

At least Meitenkun was sleeping with a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Sonámbulo' = 'Sleepwalker'


	16. VALENTINE'S DAY - White Chocolate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the most I could post for Valentine's Day today, in the midst of like three to four other stories in progress or being made. Hope you enjoy, because this was made in a single evening with my brain at like 50% power knowing my next shift of work is literally tomorrow for me.
> 
> Also yes, it's based on that 'That's not white chocolate' clip that became a meme.

On a cloudy early-February day in Japan, as they were heading their way to her current between-tour accomodations, Athena was asked by Kensou to help him sort out his images and memories in his phone, for convenience's sake. It was already risky just to handle someone else's phone – and naturally, it was going to lead to something that stepped on boundaries.

In short, she made a bit of a mistake sniffing into her friend's browsing history.

She was surprised to see on the history, that PornHub was visited as freshly as _yesterday_. Considering the holiday leading up, and how curious he tended to be, even now, she probably could've suspected as much.  
But one particular clip _rung out_ in this rising time of flowers and chocolates. A certain sentence was going to potentially haunt her for the next week.

"' _You're so disgusting – that's not white chocolate, that's your dick!_ '"

Volume low enough to avoid too much attention, but high enough to make out what she could hear, Athena made sure not to make it clear on her face or body language in front of people possibly walking past in the street, that she was stumbling upon some ~mature~ findings.

An oddly simply ploy, in the form of a certain appendage tipping through the hole of a heart-box, playing a game of deception, as a thimble of 'white chocolate'. And, of course, because it was porn, it naturally led to full fledged love-making.

This was the exact kind of stuff Athena barely ever wanted to catch herself looking at, let alone someone as close to her as Kensou, with as much of an embarrassing devotion to _try_ and take things to the next level.  
Emphasis on _**try**_.

When she finally met back up with Kensou, it looked suspect from the first glance – she saw him sitting on the ground right outside the door to the hotel, looking particularly nervous with what may come.  
In his lap, was a heart-shaped box with almost the same sleek red surfacing and chocolate-fitting width-thinness as the box seen in _that_ video.

She didn't want to make herself up as immediately nervous, though she hesitated to speak up even a single syllable.  
"...Hey..."

"...hi?"  
On the other hand, the prospective Kensou was absolutely having a full-body bone-shiver moment, as he almost forgot to respond when he looked up to her.

"What'cha got there...?" she asked, struggling slightly.

"Uhhh, a gift... I guess...?" Kensou shifted awkwardly on himself, not working out too well on the bumpy texture of the ground foundation. "I... don't know if I'm being too forward with just this."

"Trust me, it's not _that_ I'm worried about..." Athena was standing before a risky decision – knowing what she knew about his recent history and his tendency to be inspired, she was face to face with inevitability.

As well as something else she almost forgot about as soon as she pondered deeply in her colorful, sparkly mind. "Oh, that's right!"  
She never felt so forgetful – as she dug back into her person, tossing Kensou back a belonging. "Your phone! Oh gosh, how could I forget...?"

"Oh, yeah, right," stuttered back Kensou, catching his belonging back into his own hands. "...Sorry, I... I guess I wasn't thinking about it too much, either, huh?"

"Uh, yeah..." By this point, Athena was already getting tired to stalling things further...  
"Uh, don't mind me, but... I'm... just gonna rip the band-aid off and get it over with~"

"With what—w-whoa!" Kensou was caught offguard by Athena suddenly reaching down and grabbing to open the heart-box.

To her shock, she _wasn't_ met with a mushroom-tipped surprise – the only thing else that remained on his lap was what looked to be a little Valentine card, but she didn't pay as much attention to that as she did the box she then picked up off his lap, confirming that every little dot of chocolate in there was not looking out of place. There wasn't even a single _actual_ white chocolate in there, once she finished scanning it.

"I-is something wrong?" Kensou now had more of a reason to wonder what was going on with the Psycho Soldier. "You didn't snoop around too much, did you?"

Lifting the chocolate box down from her face and taking a deep breath, Athena hesitantly responded.  
"Kensou... have you heard of an 'incognito window'?"

He realized as soon as he heard the web terminology being used. "You looked."

She explained, "I had a feeling you probably _were_ going to get a gift for me, so I _did_ look – but I think I saw too much."  
Athena now just wanted to shrivel up in her bed and leave it to just herself and her new box of chocolates.

"I'll let you look at what you want, but... please don't let me hold onto that for too long again. Respecting privacy's kind of a kryptonite to me."  
She opted to let everything just slide past as a little bit of an awkward moment as she punched in her ticket and started to make her way back into her temporary apartment.

On the other hand, with the boy with the 'Dragon Spirit'...

"Uhhh... I'll just meet you inside, okay? I gotta go~!"  
Overwhelmed by his nerves, he ultimately gave up and raced past Athena into the interior – and the card that remained by him had fallen onto the ground.

As soon as she grabbed and opened it, she expected simply a bit of a corny quote – that, she was more than capable of handling, since with all the fanmail, it wouldn't be the first time.

What it _actually_ was, was the following line...:  
' _A Superstar Like You, Deserves A Special Microphone To ~Sing~ Into!_ '  
And underneath that, on the right side of the card, was a hole cut out in the middle, wide enough to fit _what she was worried about_ through it.

On further thought, Athena was not surprised he could simply not handle whatever he was trying to do to begin with – not even some of her most desperate fans had thought of _that_ innuendo!

In hindsight, at least the 'white chocolate' trick would've been the slightest bit subtle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Happy Valentine's Day?

**Author's Note:**

> * 'Robbie' = Robert Garcia, obviously. Much like Mai, Yuri doesn't want to feel lonely just in case.


End file.
